You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
All the doctor said was why
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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