let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
