Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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