we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
