dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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