sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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