At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize