His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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