Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
