Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You smell like stripper and shame
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
