I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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