got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
