Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
