there were more penises there than on chat roulette
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
