You really coming over, don't trick.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The Olympian is in my bed
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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