Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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