just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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