get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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