Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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