The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
