Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
