On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize