thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
