This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
