just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
