i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize