Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
