Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Is it because I queefed?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
