wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
