i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
