I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
