is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
