brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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