dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
