Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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