Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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