we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
