I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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