return my video game
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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