Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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