all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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