My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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