hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
