If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
