the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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