Tell her she can't have a vagina
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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