I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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