I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize