that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wish you could order shots online.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
