Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
