pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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