I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
