Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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