Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
