youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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