I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
