Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
