he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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