It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
