i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
