She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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