Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
