i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it was like eating out sand paper
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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