found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
